Thursday, January 23, 2014

City of Angels

Hey dudes! Went to Los Angeles this past week, didn't take many photos, but here are some just to keep ya guys entertained. I've also been working on some photos, since my 1 year anniversary is coming up. I must say, I'm pretty stoked to see how it'll all turn out. Stay tuned for January 31st for a very special post!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

New Year. Nothing New. Room for Improvement.

Well well well, we've made it to 2014, but don't worry, it won't be long till the radiation from Japan comes to us. (I don't really mean that, but really you should be a little scared)

2013 was a tough year for me, but I learned through my experiences and through the support of good people that it will get better. It really sucked losing my mother to breast cancer, and having to be the strongest in the household in order to keep everyone somewhat sane. And you know what, I was the one to lose my sanity. I kept all my feelings bottled up and buried because crying is for weaklings and I'm Esti, I don't cry, show emotion, and have a non existent heart. That's what I thought at the beginning of 2013. I didn't want to accept reality and move on. Waves of anger swept through me, and I believed being self destructive would ease the pain. Just so you know, it didn't.

The next couple of months progressively started looking up. I changed my perspective on certain situations and knew that I wanted peace and order in my life. The first thing to do, was chop off all my hair. Several of my friends and family asked why I made such a drastic change to my hair. I heard whispers from family members "Is she lesbian now? Oh she must be doing drugs. Oh wait she's a weird satanist girl." And I laugh because, this was the beginning to something new. My mother inspired me to make this sudden change. She had long luscious hair, and resembled Morticia Addams which I always joked about. Never did she cut her hair. When starting chemotherapy, her hair was obviously falling off, so she cut her hair into a bob. Two days later, I walked into her room, only to find my dad shaving my mom's hair completely! I couldn't believe my eyes. I asked why. She responded, "Hair is only superficial, I am still beautiful, I am me, hair doesn't define who I am as a person." Emilia was a brave brave woman. I did this for her. After all, I am her daughter and she never gave a crap about what anyone thought about her. She was her own person, lively and selfless.

Close friends, new friends, and family really showed their true colors when giving me strength and a reason to smile. They all know who they are, and if you're one of those people, I want to say thank you. I apologize to the friends I lost over stupid shit. Wherever you are, I hope you're doing well and wish you the best, you deserve it.

August rolled around and I found the best job ever! I became a nanny to the sweetest, smartest nine year old I know. When asking Willow what her first impression of me was, she responded, "Esti I thought you were a freak... You wear black lipstick." How unlikely would it be for a girl who loves wearing black and a child who loves pink and Pink to become such good friends. It has now been five months, and again I asked the same question, "What do you think of me now?" She responded, "Esti, you're the best nanny ever, may I hug you." May I point out that she wears black lipstick now haha.  My nurturing side has definitely come out and I care about this kid. She's taught me that hugs won't make me melt, that smiling is essential, and showing emotion is okay. I guess I'm not the Grinch anymore, and my heart has grown once again. Oh and to everyone who didn't believe I was responsible enough to take care of a child, I smile. Smile because my life is in order, I am responsible, I'm not a drunk mess, don't live at home, am financially stable, OH! and that's right, I'm only 19 :) Woah crazy right?

TO 2014! and the new memories to be made, to a better version of myself, to trying to eat healthier, to be successful in my endeavors, to growing my mullet out, to not getting as many parking tickets, to family, to life.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Sickly Embarcadero

Absolutely no energy to muster up, whilst taking a trip to the Embarcadero. With a cold, cranky, and heavily annoyed, this was no place for me. Winter time is the worst to go to touristy locations, for there are swarms of visitors trying to make their way through the tiny streets. Every step one takes, he/she is hindered by the tourist in front taking photos of every unimportant thing he comes across. In all reality, the best places to see are the ones that aren't necessarily of tourist interest. It would make visitors' life easier to explore new sights and stay away from the stereotypical Ghirardelli Square, Pier 39, and Haight Street. I'd much rather recommend going to the Columbarium (a little on the morbid side), to look at the elaborate structure of the building and the niches commemorating loved ones, China Beach (where the Golden Gate Bridge can be easily seen) it doesn't get crowded,  the Coit Tower (for an amazing view of the city), or just get lost in the city. Getting lost in the city can lead you to some impressive places.

P.S. I took some shots of my brother, who is in Orchestra and am content with these photos.

Thursday, December 12, 2013


Sewing, needlework, sketches, collections. Last week I attended San Francisco State University's Winter Fashion, where the students created pieces, each within a certain theme. This was a student run show well executed. It was apparent that each and everyone who participated in the show put lots of time and effort into their piece or pieces. Here's a little overview, enjoy!